Missing Moments in Danny History
by The Poisoned Doughnut Of DOOM
Summary: Funny things that should have happened... but didn't. No longer being written.
1. Conversations

Danny Phantom Missing Moments: Stuff That Should've Happened - But Didn't

Lucky in Love

-

"Danny? You're the ghost boy?" Paulina gasped. Danny gasped.

"Uh, um, AIEEEEEEE!" Danny screamed. He knocked Paulina out and sprinted away.

-

Kwan: I was told I have to sit here now.  
Tucker: You'll never take Danny's place!  
Sam: Tell me about it! I would never dream of making out with YOU!  
Kwan and Tucker: Uh, what?  
Sam: I didn't say anything.

-

"I stare at all the fluffy clouds,  
They all look like footballs I like footballs" Kwan at the Skulk and Lurk Bookstore.

-

Kitty: Beat it, Johnny. I'm Danny's girl now. Danny likes older girls.  
Danny: When did I say that? I never said I liked older girls.  
Kitty: You just did. Plus, Paulina's fifteen. You're fourteen. Older!

-

Shadow Ghost: I don't like you!  
Danny: You think I like you?  
Shadow Ghost: Well, um, I kinda did.

-

Sam: I've got an idea to get rid of her. But it's kinda radical.  
Paulina: Danny? Has anyone seen my Danny?  
Danny: Radical's good.  
Sam: Great! Okay, we pretend to be together and make Kitty jealous!  
Danny: Changed my mind. Radical - not good.  
Sam: I didn't say anything.

13

-

Johnny: So, how about it, Kitten? Wanna be my girl?  
Jazz: Be the girl of a greasy-haired motorcycle friggin' maniac? Heck yeah!

-

Sam: DEAR GOD! DANNY, WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?

Danny walks up. He is wearing all shredded black. He has black make-up and black combat boots.

Danny: Well, since you and Tucker went Goth, I figured I should do the same! Now I won't be left out! I hope I don't look too weird.  
Sam: You don't, Goth Danny is HOT!  
Paulina: He sure is! Date me Danny!  
Sam: NEVER! He's MINE!  
Danny: What?  
Sam: I didn't say anything!

-

Sam: Time for the ultimate Goth accessory!  
Tucker: I am not getting my ear pierced!  
Sam: Who said anything about your ear?  
Tucker: MY NOSE?  
Sam: No, not nose. A little lower.  
Tucker: Where are you going to put that?  
Sam: NIPPLE PIERCING!

- 


	2. Fudge!

_Ding-Dong._

Danny rushed to open the door. Tucker and Sam were at the door, holding sleeping bags and stashes of technology. (In Tucker's case, anyway.) Maddie, Jack, and Jazz were touring colleges for the weekend, so the house was free.

So, after everyone was settled in, Danny lit up and held a flashlight under his face. His face developed eerie shadows.

"Now, to begin our weekend long coed slumber party, we must have…FUDGE! I raided Dad's stash."

Danny whipped out severl bags of fudge. Tucker and Danny ate a few pieces. But Sam, oh boy, would Sam eat. She ate five bags of fudge, dribbling about a third of it on herself and her sleeping bag. Sam had never had fudge before, or any sugar at all, and found the side-effects of sugar…exhilarating.

"OH MY GOSH, I LOVE FUDGE, DIDJA KNOW THAT, I LOVE FUDGE, I ALSO LOVE YOU GUYS, YOU'RE THE BEST FRIENDS I'VE EVER HAD, OF COURSE, YOU'RE ALSO THE ONLY FRIENDS I'VE EVER HAD EXCEPT FOR GREGORELLIOT BUT I DON'T LIKE HIM, HE'S JERK, AM I TALKING TOO MUCH?"

Danny and Tucker blinked at each other.

"…No?"

Sam jumped up. "I'm going to sing a song!" she shrieked. She opened her mouth and began to sing.

Now, Sam's singing voice was like Carlotta trying to sing Think Of Me combined with Raoul singing All I Ask Of You, as if they had been turned into cats that had retained their human voices and the cats were having their tails run over by a rocking chair that was being rocked by a 500 pound woman who had run away from the circus she worked at because she'd eaten all their fatty food including the deep fried-chicken-smashed-between-two-Krispy-Kreme-doughnuts sandwhiches. (1)

If possible, what Sam was singing was worse than the voice she was using.

"MARSHMELLOOOOOOOOOOOOWS! I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU, MARSHMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLOOOOOOOOOOOOW! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE ME, MARSHMELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

Tucker stared at Danny in horror.

"She's your best friend, stop her!"

"SKULLS!" Sam shrieked randomly.

Danny walked up to Sam.

"Sam, if you stop singing, we can make out?"

"YES! FUDGE! MAKE OUT!"

Danny, eager to end the horrificness of Sam's singing, kissed Sam. Sam immidiately calmed down and they made out for ten minutes.

"I LOVE YOU!"

"ME, TOO!"

Tucker blinked again. He pinched his leg to make sure this wasn't a very bizarre dream. His leg hurt like heck, so he shrugged and had another piece of fudge.

(1) They actually honest-to-God sold those at the L.A. County Fair, gag


	3. Run, Danny, Run! Sam's pregnant!

Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me

Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married...just you wait and see.

She called me up, late last night, she said Dan, don't come over

My dad and I just had a fight, and he stormed out the door

I've never seen him act his this way, my God, he's going crazy

He says he's gonna make you pay, for what we've done, he's got a gun, so

Run Danny Run Danny Run

Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me

Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married...just you wait and see.

I got in my car and I drove like mad, till I reached Sammy's place

She ran to me, with tears in her eyes, and bruises on her face

All at once, I saw him there, sneaking up behind me, WATCH OUT!

Then Sam yelled, he's got a gun, and she stepped in front of me

Suddenly, a shot rang out, and I saw Sammy falling

I ran to her, I held her close, when I looked down, my hands were red,

and here's the last words Sammy said...

Daddy please don't, it wasn't his fault, he means so much to me

Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married...aaahhh..ahhhh

ahhhh...ahhhhh

Run Danny run Danny run Danny run Danny run Danny run


	4. My Junk

Paulina took a deep breath. Oh why, oh why did she try out for the talent show?

She was going to sing "My Humps" with the football team in the background as the male accompaint. Of course, she was too stupid to actually know those words, she called them "that dude part in da back."

She was waiting in her dressing room (which was actually the science room) when her nerves EXPLODED. She whipped out her purse, took out a candle, spoon, and a packet of white powder. She poured the powder in the spoon and melted it on the candle. She poured the liquid into a syringe.

She took out a cord and tied her arm. She quickly plunged the needle in her veins and shot up some smack. She was putting everything away when Mr. Lancer entered her "dressing room".

"Paulina, it's your turn to go on!"

Paulina got onstage, high as a rocket. The music started playing. And Paulina sang quite a different song then she'd meant.

My Junk

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?

All that junk inside your trunk?

I'ma get get get get me high

Get me high offa my junk

My junk my junk

My junk my junk my junk

My junk my junk my junk

My lovely little smack

Shoot it up

This heroin is crazy

I shoot up on the daily

It treats me really nicely

It makes me feel all icy

Don't smoke that marjuana

That crap is for Madonna

Needles we be sharin'

All that smack I got me wearin'

PCP I ain't takin

They say they love my acid

Seven days, you're still high

They say please and I keep givin

So I keep on takin'

And no, the drugs aren't takin'

You can still keep datin'

I keep on demonstratin'

My drugs

My drugs my drugs my drugs

You love my lady drugs

My drugs my drugs my drugs

My drugs they got you

She's got me spendin'

Oh, spendin' all your money on it

And getting' high off it

She's got me spendin'

Ooh, spendin' all your money on it

On on it

On it

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?

All that junk inside your trunk?

I'ma get get get get me high

Get me high offa my junk

Whatcha gonna do with all that acid

All that acid in your jeans?

I'ma make make make you scream

Make ya scream make ya scream!

Cause of my drugs

My drugs my drugs my drugs

My drugs my drugs my drugs

My lovely little smack

Shoot it up

I met a girl down at the disco

She said "hey, hey, yeah let's go!"

You could bring my needle and I could shoot it up

Let's spend time not money

And mix your LSD with my heroin,

LSD with heroin

And mix your LSD with my herion

LSD heroin

Riiiiiiiiiight

They say my drugs are sexy

Them boys they want my joints

They always dancing next to me,

Always giving bucks to me

All for my junk!

Junk!

You can look but you can't smoke it

You can have some weed

Marijuana

Mar mar marijuana

Marijuana

Mar mar marijuana

So don't you touch my smack boy,

That there's my smack, boy

I'm just tryin' to get high, boy

And smoke my junk!

My junk my junk

My junk my junk my junk

My junk my junk my junk

My lovely little smack

I sell it in the back and in the front!

My junk it's got you

It's got us spendin'

Oh oh, spendin' all your money on it

And getting high off it

She's got me spendin'

Oh oh, spendin' all your money on it

On on it

On it

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?

All that junk inside your trunk?

I'ma get get get get me high

Get me high off my junk

Whatcha gonna do with all that crack

All that crack stuffed down yo shirt

I'ma make make you work

Make you work work

Make you work

She's got me spendin'

Oh oh, spendin' all your money on it

On on it

On it


	5. Danny Gets Hit On the Head

"Danny! Watch out!" Dash threw a basket-ball at Danny. He wasn't paying attention. It hit him on the head. He groaned and sank to the floor.

"DANNY!" Sam and Tucker yelled. They ran to Danny, who was waking up.

"Danny! Oh my gosh, are you okay?"

"Chocolate fish pie?" He blinked at Tucker.

"All right!" Dash yelled. "Fenton's finally gone nuts!" Everyone ran over to see Danny.

"MOMMMY!" Danny screamed. He jumped up and grabbed Paulina's hair. "I love you, Mommy!"

Mr. Lancer walked up. "What's going on here?"

"I DON'T LIKE YOU!" Danny yelled. "You smell funny and you're fat!"

Lancer gaped at him.

"Danny hit his head. I think he's delusional."

Danny jumped on Dash's back. "Daddy! I can count to five! Seven, one, eleventy-nine, five!"

Sam winced. "Yep, delusional."

Danny suddenly burst into tears. "Daddy! Where's my teddy bear?"

"Oh, no." Sam groaned.

"TEDDY!" Danny screamed. He ran to Sam, and grabbed her. He hugged her very tightly. "I love you, Teddy Bear-Bear!" He kissed her on the cheek.

"TEDDY! MOMMY! DADDY!" Danny grabbed Sam, Dash, and Paulina and crushed them into a hug.

"I have a seeeeeeeeeeecret! I LOVE SAM MANSON!" He yelled quite loudly. Sam blushed.

"Mommy!" Danny yelled. "Lookee what I can do!" Two white rings formed around his waist.

"DANNY! NO!" Sam yelled.

Danny went ghost. Everyone gasped. Valerie pulled out her guns.

Just then, Danny regained his abiltiy to think.

"Whoa, why is everyone staring?"

"Um, well, you hit your head, called Paulina 'Mommy', called Dash 'Daddy' and jumped on him, called Sam your 'Teddy Bear-Bear', hugged her, and then, rather loudly, screamed that you love Sam."

"Ooops."

"Oh, and then you sort of turned into a ghost."

Danny realized he was a ghost. Valerie jumped forward with her guns.

"I'LL GET YOU, GHOST KID!"

Danny flew screaming from the room while Valerie chased him.


	6. FOR THAT YOU DIE

"FOR THAT YOU DIE, FENTON!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Danny ran down the halls screaming. Sam was chasing after him.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, FENTON!"

"Ack!" Danny continued running. Sam continued chasing. Many people sniggered and followed them. Sam finally cornered Danny. He hid his hands with his face.

"No! Wait, please! I didn't mean it!"

Sam advanced threatiningly. "Prepare to die!"

"No! Please, I'm sorry! I'll do anything! I'll do anything! I'll never do it again!"

"Anything?"

"ANYTHING!"

"You have to take me out to dinnner."

"Agreed!"

"To the most expensive restaurant in town."

"Agreed!"

"You have to pay for everything."

"AGREED!"

"Okay." Sam turned around and walked down the hall. Everyone stared at Danny.

"Jeez, Fenton," Dash said. "What did you do?"

Danny looked around fearfully before whispering what he had done.

"I called her Samantha."


	7. Vlad Masters Gets A Cat

Vlad Masters Gets a Cat

Vlad was opening his mail. He had another rejection letter to his many requests to buy his football team. He groaned and opened his last letter. The envelope had no return address. But he knew who sent it when he saw what the letter said:

GET A CAT

Vlad growled. "I will not get a cat! I am the all-powerful Plasmius and I DO NOT NEED A CAT! Wait… maybe." Vlad pause to think. Women liked cats, right? Didn't Maddie sleep with a stuffed doll cat in college? Maybe a cat was the answer.

"Daniel Fenton, you're a genius. Wait, I'M a genius!" Vlad smirked and booted up his computer. He was trying to look up cat stores nearby. But the internet wasn't working. No matter how hard Vlad tried and no matter how much money he offered the computer, it just wouldn't work.

So Vlad was forced to search his entire mansion looking for the phonebook only to discover that the phonebook was in his pocket. He growled and left his castle. He walked the 24 miles to town.

As soon as he got to town, Vlad smacked himself rather forcefully in the face. He had walked all the way to town when he could've flown and been there in seconds instead of walking for hours.

Once again forgetting he was a ghost, Vlad walked to the next pet store. But they didn't have any cats. Vlad was forced to walk to every pet store in town until the last one he checked had cats.

He chose a black cat (which coincidentally was the same kind as the stuffed cat Maddie had slept with) and payed. The very bored cashier was reading a fashion magazine and sold Vlad his cat without a second glance.

He was flying home with the cat (his brain had woken up) when Vlad's new cat attacked. Vlad learned very quickly that cats do not like to fly. When he got home, he was scratched and bruised. He groaned and put the cat on the floor.

The cat glared. Vlad realized that he hadn't bought any cat food, a litter box, or really anything except the cat. So he was forced to fly back to town to get the cat things. Since his brain was weak enough to begin with, he forgot to un-ghost himself. Everyone at the store screamed and ran. Vlad didn't notice. He thought people were just excited to see a billionaire (and a good looking one he thought to himself) at a cat store.

The same very bored cashier didn't even notice Vlad was a ghost as she scanned the cat things with one hand while using the other to turn a page in her magazine.

Vlad got home to find out that the cat had made a horrific mess in his front hall. Vlad gagged and struggled not to vomit at the smell. After forcing the disgusted servants to clean the mess, he realized that he had another problem.

"What do I name the cat?" Vlad said in horror. He suddenly came up with the most brilliant name in the history of cat names. He grabbed the cat and flew to Daniel's house.

"Ha!" Vlad yelled. Danny and his girlfriend and that last kid whose name Vlad couldn't remember ran out. Danny went ghost.

"Daniel! I present to you the awesome power I have accquired! After some consideration, I have decided to purchase A CAT!"

Danny and his friends stared at Vlad. He thought they must have been scared of the awesome power of his cat.

"Fear the awesome power of – CAT!" Vlad had named his cat Cat. He shoved the cat in Danny's face. The cat barked.

"Um, Vlad?" Danny said giving Vlad a you-couldn't-be-more-stupid-if-you-tried look. "That's a dog."

And then Danny kicked Vlad's stupid butt.


End file.
